We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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