I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize