i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize