hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
