This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
