Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT

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(440): View more from Ohio

Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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(830): View more from Texas

It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember

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(512): View more from Texas

She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?

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