Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
