You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize