You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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