We're facebook friends in real life
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
try to milk me bitch
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