The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
