I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
