ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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