why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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