After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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