im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
