My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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