Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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