So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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