she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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