Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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