Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You can't motorboat a personality
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
