ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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