He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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