i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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