Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Rumble strips road head = magical
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
