I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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