Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
