These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
