I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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