I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
