Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
