so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
