Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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