What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
