it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
