who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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