like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
