It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
