I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
they're like a gay fantastic four
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
