he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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