she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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