Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize