Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My feet surprised me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
