Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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