Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize