really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
