i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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