i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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