They should really pass out barf bags in church
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
