Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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