Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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