How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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