I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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