when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
