Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
