5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
