i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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