Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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