it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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