My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
