I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
