That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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