Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
