It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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