...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
