paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
